In Sweden, participatory planning projects involving teenage girls have gained attention as innovative examples of gender-aware practice. This article explores how such initiatives are carried out and negotiated in everyday planning contexts. Based on interviews with professionals involved in projects that redesigned parks, tested creative methods and developed new dialogue tools, the analysis examines how inclusion is framed, enacted and evaluated. While these projects are celebrated as ‘best practice’, they also expose tensions: between ideals of participation and institutional routines, temporary interventions and long-term ambitions, situated insights and calls for standardisation. These dynamics reveal that gender equality work in planning is not a neutral or technical task but unfolds as a relational, emotionally invested practice. Professionals describe participation as meaningful yet fragile, dependent on trust, care and flexibility rather than guaranteed by institutional structures. Positioned as exemplary, these projects risk being treated as exceptional rather than integral to planning routines. The findings highlight how gender-aware planning unfolds through everyday negotiations, revealing both the transformative potential and the precariousness of equality work within project-based governance.