That couples negotiate has been a central assumption in research on couples and families during the last few decades. In this article we take a closer look at the basic assumptions on which the understanding of negotiation rests and the way the concept of negotiation has been applied. First, we argue that negotiation is rare in couples’ everyday lives and that much of what has been discussed in terms of negotiation can be understood in terms of ‘doing gender’ and ‘doing couple’ within the context of couples’ everyday lives. We suggest that there exists little need and space for negotiation in couples’ everyday lives. Second, we unpack the concept of negotiation and find that it is characterized by ambiguity and a lack of clarity. Finally, we conclude with a suggestion for a more clear definition in order to differentiate negotiation from other forms of interaction that takes place within couples.